The Mesquite Online News - Texas A&M University-San Antonio

Got boundaries? Workshops encourage healthy relationships

By Kimberly Rivera

Student Counseling and Wellness Services hosted workshops April 19 and April 26, educating students on healthy relationships and bystander intervention of sexual assault.

Jennifer Tristan, director of education training at the Rape Crisis Center in San Antonio, led the first workshop by addressing the signs of an unhealthy relationship.

San Antonio’s Rape and Crisis Center provides free education workshops for middle and high schools, college campuses and community meetings. Educational workshops also include bullying, cyberbullying, violence in the media, gender socialization, and sexual harassment.

The Rape Crisis Center can tailor educational workshops for parents, community members, law enforcement, and military service providers.

As part of an informal partnership with this university, the Rape Crisis Center provides informational workshops for students and staff.

“We do a lot of work on campuses…with students, with faculty and administrators trying to think … what can we do as a campus to promote healthier spaces but also address the issues related to sexual assault on campus that people may be impacted by,” Tristan said.

“It’ll navigate them [students] to feel safe,” said Rachel Lutz, Director of counseling and wellness Services.

April was established as sexual awareness month in 2001 to promote awareness and prevention of sexual assault since it is a public health issue affecting women, men, and children.

“It’s become a pressing issue on school campuses,” Lutz said.

One in five women and one in 16 men are sexually assaulted while in college, according to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC). Of those victims, 90 percent do not report their assault.

We work to end sexual violence before it starts by giving people tools that they can utilize to make choices about their relationships, Tristan said.

Identifying unhealthy relationships

“How many of you are in relationships?” Tristan asked the audience during the first workshop.

A few students raised their hands. Others said they’re not dating anyone.

Tristan reminded participants that in addition to intimate relationships, we form bonds with different people every day, including our colleagues, families, coworkers, and friends.

She described signs of an unhealthy relationship including different types of violence such as verbal, emotional, physical, and cyber.

An abuser may also use technology to stalk, bully, harass, blackmail, or guilt victims.

Tristan explained the “cycle of violence”, starting with a honeymoon phase, continuing with a tensions phase, and ending with the explosion phase, “resolving” the situation but continuing when a trigger occurs.

The red flags for an unhealthy relationship are jealousy, possessiveness, control, and blaming others for their actions.

After informing the audience on signs of an unhealthy relationship, Tristan addressed how to practice healthy relationships.

Building Healthy Relationships

Tristan gave students tools to build healthy relationships and encouraged them to demand respect from others.

For example, students in healthy relationships know what qualities are important to them. The issue of respect, she said, is really important too.

“Respect means being able, to be honest with other people, make decisions together, give each other independence and individuality. There has to be a good balance,” Tristan said.

Achieving balance in a relationship takes time, but students can learn by expressing their boundaries.

“If boundaries are not set then people don’t know when they are crossed, or what to do when they are crossed,” Tristan said.

If there is a lack of consent or understanding of what consent is then boundaries are crossed whether implicit or explicit.

Tristan offered advice for the audience on maintaining healthy relationships. She mentioned available resources either on-campus or through organizations like the Rape Crisis Center.

“The community can take a healthier approach to addressing sexual violence and supporting survivors instead of just the counseling department,” Tristan said.

Bystander Intervention: how to identify, act, and intervene

The second workshop began by laying a foundation for a clear definition of sexual assault, defined in the university’s student handbook. Once attendees learned what sexual assault was, they could identify it when they see it.

Often, people witness an assault or potential situation but do not intervene or reach out to a professional for help. They might be afraid to intervene or think somebody else will.

A bystander is not necessarily always a stranger but more often a person who knows the victim and perpetrator.

To practice bystander intervention, intervene or assess the situation either by approaching the victim or seeking the perpetrator and giving them guidance to use a resource or professional help.

Ashley Hernandez, counseling and guidance graduate student, said she learned new information through the bystander prevention workshop.

“They [students] would learn more about the topic that they probably never knew about, they would get some useful tips like how to spot and identify what could be a potentially dangerous situation for someone,” Hernandez said. “They [the workshops] could help prevent situations like this to happening, it’ll help make the campus feel safer and the overall goal of stopping this from happening everywhere.”  

Tristan gave the audience training scenarios to practice identifying a situation and intervening.

A scenario included a female cousin who is intoxicated at a house party and unable to walk. A co-worker high-fives his buddy as a form of “accomplishment” as he takes her to a bedroom.

“I am not familiar with those scenarios, so I don’t know what I would do, (after attending the workshop) I have a better idea on how to approach them,” Hernandez said.

Conversations in the educational workshop provide a comfortable setting for students and staff.

“The conversation was well informative, and the presenter did a really good job of opening it up and not having it a taboo conversation to have…[the presenter] gave excellent resources and tips.” Hernandez said.

With the new freshman and sophomore class coming in, counseling and wellness services will take part in Jaguar Experience or “Jag X”, a type of camp for new and transfer students.

As part of the Jaguar Experience to get incoming students involved, counseling and wellness services will hold sessions for incoming students and inform them of mental health apps, guided meditations, and handout pocket pamphlets on mental health.

Students requesting to know more information regarding sexual assault or campus rape are always welcome to call Counseling and Wellness services at 210-784-1331 or contact the Rape Crisis Center 24-hour hotline at 210-349-7273.

About the Author

Kimberly Rivera
Editor-In-Chief
Kimberly Rivera has served as student reporter, photographer and assistant editor for the campus' digital news outlet. Last semester she interviewed Elle Magazine fashion news editor, Naomi Rougeau, to learn how to break into the fashion magazine market. In addition to serving as assistant editor and student, Kimberly works in retail where she uses her organizational and communication skills on a daily basis. Rivera spends her free time discovering new trends across fashion, keeping up with current events, and exploring new places.
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