Victoria Arredondo
Assistant Editor
In a crowded room full of people, loneliness lingers. No familiar faces, just the anxiety of talking to others.
“During new student orientation, you don’t know anybody; you have to try to get out of your comfort zone and talk to other people and for me, that was very hard,” said kinesiology freshman Samantha Diaz, recalling a memory of when she was first entering Texas A&M University-San Antonio.
According to The Chronicle of Higher Education, a sample survey conducted by the American College Health Association shows that 53% of students struggle with loneliness. And in a 2017 survey where 48,000 college students participated, 64% said that they experienced loneliness in the previous twelve months, and 19% reported that they never felt lonely.
A wide range of different stressors could amass loneliness.
Dr. Joseph M. Simpson, an associate professor of sociology and chair of the sociology and communication department at A&M-San Antonio said students may feel lonely because of different responsibilities they may have to juggle.
Some students at A&M-San Antonio are parents or caregivers to family members, and many students have full-time or part-time jobs, Simpson said. And the pressure to participate in campus life and activities can add to the stressor.
Simpson described these stressors as “intensive.” He also said campus events are “impersonal.”
“You’re just there, you’re in a crowd, and you might be there with friends, or you just might be there alone,” Simpson said. “And if you’re going to an event alone, you might not want to go to that event, so I think those are part of the explanations for why loneliness is on the increase.”
Loneliness comes and goes but once it emerges, it can feel overwhelming.
“I did have [a student] who said that since he’s vocal, he feels like he gets ostracized by students, so that can get lonely,” said Dr. Melisa Fleming, an assistant professor in the department of counseling, health and kinesiology. “He felt like ‘I’m very vocal, and I like to talk a lot’ — he feels like he gets kind of shunned or people avoid him.”
Joanna Vela, director of the Student Counseling Center, said that loneliness can impact everybody.
“Someone’s experience of loneliness can be different from person to person, so somebody might have a good number of acquaintances and still feel very lonely,” Vela said.
It’s not about the quantity of how many people you know, Vela said. It’s about the quality of relationships and the genuine sense of connection they bring someone.
Vela said an additional stressor possibly contributing to loneliness is technology. Technology and social media are “unsafe” places, because of the fear that anyone can post anything about another person.
“People have their guard up a lot of times in relationships,” Vela said. “The trends that we’ve seen is that [the] more people are using technology, the less connected they’re feeling in general.”
The burden of loneliness can make many question themselves.
Business management sophomore Michael Mikhail says that student loneliness is “real.”
“I ask myself ‘Why?’ a lot, I ask myself ‘Why me?’” Mikhail said. “Because I look around and people are having interesting conversations or hanging out with their girlfriends and friends, and I’m like ‘I’m just alone here.’”
It’s not uncommon for students to be welcomed by the long arms of loneliness when entering a new institution like A&M-San Antonio. Biology sophomore Taryn Bello said the loneliness makes her regret attending A&M-San Antonio.
“I have my friends but like, I can’t always be around them all the time, and when I feel lonely it’s like, I kind of start regretting being here or coming here,” Bello said. “Then I’ll miss my parents, and I’ll miss people who enjoy being around me.”
Bello said she lives about 40 minutes away from A&M-San Antonio but her parents wanted her to experience living on campus.
“When you see other people interacting with other people, you’re like ‘do people not like me?’” she said.
Bello said weekends are the worst because the campus seems empty.
“But I still come to the library to study, but it’s like ‘I’m by myself and it’s lonely and there’s nobody,’ and it does make me feel sad.”
But there may be a solution to student loneliness: being a part of student organizations and clubs on campus could help combat the feelings of isolation.
Diaz said she’s a part of the kinesiology club and plans on joining the Sigma Delta Lambda Sorority next semester.
“I wanted to get more involved and since I’m just taking my basics right now, I wanted to get a head start and see what [the club] was about and get to know my professors more,” she said.
The kinesiology club is a student-run organization that shares their enthusiasm for health and wellness through education and physical activities.
Diaz’s interest in wanting to be a part of SDL sparked because she wanted to get to know more people on campus.
“I don’t live on campus, I commute, so it’s very hard to meet new people here and make friends — [the sorority] is like a sisterhood,” Diaz said.
Diaz also stated that going to the SDL meetings have been a great way for her to talk to people.
“[We] talk about our weeks or how we’re feeling [and] classes — it’s just a great way to communicate and mental health wise, it’s good to talk to people about how your day’s going or your week is going,” Diaz said.
Vela says that group therapy could also increase connections. She said the Student Counseling Center will be offering new groups next semester.
“Group therapy can be a great option to create that connection with other people that are going through similar things which can really help with that sense of isolation in a way that even individual therapy can’t help,” she said.
While individual therapy is “amazing,” group therapy could help people feel “a sense of connection” with others.
Simpson and Vela encourage students to join student organizations and clubs on campus.
The Student Counseling Center is open Monday – Friday from 8 a.m.-12 p.m. and 1 p.m.-5 p.m. Students can also call the Student Counseling Center at (210) 784-1331. For after hours, press two after calling the number.
